Fear Story
First draft: It was 6th grade on the school bus home, when I was freshly a middle school student. I remember being so terrified of making friends and starting conversations, as I’ve always been a relatively shy person. There was a girl on my bus who I had gone to elementary school with and we had had a couple sleepovers together, so naturally I felt more comfortable joining her group conversation on the bus. I was sitting by myself and the group who was talking, who in my mind were the coolest people in the world, were facing each other and telling stories and laughing. Finally, I worked up the courage to turn and face their conversation to see if I could make friends. Keep in mind, I also had never spoken to a boy in my life practically ever, let alone someone older than me, when all of a sudden the “class clown” type from a year ahead of me turns to me to say the worst thing anyone could have possibly said in that moment. He asked me, “Why are you staring at me?” I said, “I was looking at you because you were talking.” And that point forward, I never turned around on the bus again. For the record, though, that guy likes my tweets all the time now, so who’s the real cool one?
Story Edit:
It was 6th grade on the school bus home, when I was freshly a middle school student. I remember being so terrified of making friends from scratch and starting conversations, as I’ve always been a relatively shy person. There was a girl on my bus who I had gone to elementary school with and we had had a couple sleepovers together, so naturally I felt more comfortable joining her group conversation on the bus. I was sitting by myself and the group who was talking, who in my mind were the coolest people in the world, were facing each other and telling stories and laughing. Finally, I worked up the courage to turn and face their conversation to see if I could make friends. Keep in mind, I also had never spoken to a boy in my life practically ever, let alone someone older than me, when all of a sudden the “class clown” type from a year ahead of me turns to me to say the worst thing anyone could have possibly said in that moment. He asked me, “Why are you staring at me?” in the voice of someone who is extremely creeped out. I said, “I was looking at you because you were talking.” And that point forward, I never turned around on the bus again.
I was extremely bothered by his comment in the moment, but not long after I reflected about how one bad experience with a peer should not hold me back from seeking other relationships. This made me more selective with whom I surround myself in the end; basically, not wasting time or trying to impress people who willfully belittle others. I quickly found my friend group that year and we were always kind to each other, offering the validation and friendliness that you especially need at that age. Shyness should not be seen as a weakness. As a shy person, you are also the observer, able to witness people at their highs and lows and see who you want to be a part of your life. As a result, I have the best friends anybody can ask for (and that guy who was mean to me always likes my tweets). :)
3, 2, 1, Talk to Strangers!
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3 big ideas: This speaker made several points that seemed to encapsulate the meaning behind the TEDTalk. One of these ideas is how we tend not to use our senses when approaching strangers, but rather we make superficial observations and make assumptions based on these traits, our intrigue in the other person stopping there. If we start to use our senses when looking at the people around us, we will begin to see them as individuals with their own life stories and purpose in the world. This leads into the next big idea, which is the importance of seeing others as their own person. Once we switch our outlook to these, we increase our understanding of others and therefore empathy as well. Empathy allows us to appreciate one another and exercise a worldview that is not so self-interested. To establish all of these connections, Stark offers several tactics to interact with strangers. These can be as basic as smiling at someone from across the room, or more complex by inquiring the bigger questions in life. She really drives home the idea that we should practice these strategies to create more connections in the world instead of living where we purposefully avoid one another.
2 takeaways: One of my takeaways actually came from a YouTube comment left on the video, which was a user stating how all of our best friends were once strangers. There’s no way to avoid strangers in life, so we may as well make our interactions worthwhile because you never know when a person may be a connection you’ve been waiting for. Additionally, Stark’s recommendations on how to interact with strangers, although simple, are something I want to implement into my life and actively try to engage with those around me. Especially after the lack of face-to-face communication this past year, I’ve been very motivated to meet new people and appreciate little things, such as seeing folks on the quad. These tips will make me feel more comfortable in my approach to strangers.
1 question: I understand the importance of establishing connections and the beauty in meeting new people and sharing stories, however, one could be left wondering, what is the point if the relationship doesn’t further develop?
3, 2, 1, What is Joy?
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3 big ideas: Ingrid Fetel Lee explains the concept of joy and its importance in our lives. One point she drives home is that joy is a reaction to the aesthetic; it is directly related to the senses. Joy is not simply from a positive event happening, but rather, even the little things, like a brightly-colored room. She also explains how we cannot simply expect to feel joy, but we must actively seek it out in our everyday lives within these "little things." One of the most important ideas presented in the video is how we need to implement these triggers of joy into our most vulnerable spaces, such as schools. She offers statistics about various improvements among the student body when a school depicts itself in a joyful way. Students do not want to sit in a grayscale, dreary classroom when they are supposed to be excited about learning. We need to make as fun of an environment as possible.
2 questions: How should we advocate for these changes in schools? How do we balance the small doses with constants (ex: painting a room bright yellow)?
1 brainstorm: I am still pondering about how to get these changes made in schools, but this thought is becoming a newfound passion for me within educational advocacy, and I want to make sure I push for these changes in whatever school/district I work in.